I know I haven't kept up with the blog during my pregnancy. I wanted to, but thinking about what happened while I was pregnant caused me serious pain and anxiety. So, we go from here. This is the birth story of Julianna, my HELLP Syndrome baby.
My baby girl was born 6 weeks early. She was tiny 4 lbs 8.9 oz, but healthy and perfect with 10 fingers and 10 toes. She was strong and determined, picking her head up from the very beginning. It was me that had the issue.
I always been nervous about having a baby in a hospital, big needles scare me. So when we were taking a Bradley birth class and learned about the possibility of having a baby in a birth center we thought that would be an awesome option for us. I had been seeing the midwives at the local hospital, but since there are quite a few of them on call, a patient never knows who will be there when the special time arrives.
I wanted to know who would help me deliver my baby, and know that they cared about how I wanted things to go. So I made the appointment to switch to a midwife and her birth center, out of the hospital. I was about 33 weeks and for the first time felt a peace about my baby's birth.
At the end of the 33rd week I started hurting on a Sunday night. I had lifted some groceries that I probably shouldn't have, so thought I just strained my back and maybe hurt some ribs. My upper right side hurt so bad. I utilized the relaxation techniques we were learning in our birth class and Jon rubbed my back almost all night to get me to relax enough to sleep and get through the pain. In retrospect I should have known that that much pain was not normal!!
The pain went away in the early morning. I don't remember if it came back Monday night. Tuesday we had our first appointment with the new midwife. She checked my blood pressure (BP) and it was high. She had us lay down on the bed and relax for awhile and it never came down. She wanted us to come to her Seattle office the next day for another check.
I believe the pain came back that night, and went away in the morning. Wednesday, we went to Seattle. BP was still high. I had an appt. scheduled with my old midwife that the new midwife told me to go to and have her check me out. So I went to that appt, on Thursday told her about the high BPs and the pain. She said that if the pain went away it was probably nothing, but ran a blood panel and had me collect urine for 24 hours. We dropped that off on Friday and ran a few errands, including picking up a pizza for dinner, that we never got to eat.
The on call midwife from the hospital called me shortly after we got home and informed me that I needed to come in immediately. I was pre-eclamptic and they needed to admit me. I started crying, and didn't stop for quite awhile. I had always had a bad feeling about the pregnancy, and had been concerned something was going to go wrong.
So we went in and got admitted. Called my mom and told her to come, that something was wrong with me. They ran more blood tests and transferred my care to the on call doctor. The tests showed my kidney and liver function was rapidly declining, and my platelet level was dropping. They wanted to rush me into a c-section, but we asked if we could try pitocin and breaking the waters first. The doctor agreed reluctantly.
We started pitocin at 9pm, but I didn't feel the contractions at all until they broke the waters at about midnight. I refused the epidural and all meds, much to their dismay. The doctor really wanted me to have the epidural in case they needed to do the c-section. If my platelets dropped too low and they needed to do the c-section I wouldn't have been able to be awake for the surgery without the epidural. But it was a risk we wanted to take, we didn't want the baby to be exposed to the drugs, especially since I knew I could handle the pain.
I labored through the night. Trying my best to relax through the contractions, ignore the bp cuff checking my bp every 15 minutes, and the blood draws every few hours. I remember singing worship music in my head, although, I don't remember which songs. Jon was tired, and slept standing next to me most of the night. I was not impressed (still not) that he slept while I was going though all of this!!
I had dilated to about a 5 or so at 7am when shift change came around. The dr. didn't think anything would be happening so he said goodbye. The contractions had gotten very intense and around 7:45 I began telling our nurse that I didn't think I could make it, and asking her about a c-section...as I'm saying the words c-section something changed and I told her so. I remember it now, I said "something feels different, like I need to poo!" She checked, and said, "We are having a baby now!" The new dr on shift was already in surgery, so they had to call the old dr back!! I told them I needed to push, they of course said "NO DON'T!" Hahaha! Yea right!! The doctor made it back by about 8, and at 8:05 Julianna Faith was born after just a few pushes. I asked my hubby if we could name her that, as faith was the only thing that got me through the labor.
I held my baby briefly, then they whisked her away to the NICU. My hubby went with her, and after all the fuss with me after baby was born was done, I was basically alone. That pretty much sucked. My mom was driving out, and got there in the afternoon.
I wasn't allowed out of bed because of the magnesium sulfate I was on, and my body still hadn't started working correctly, in fact my platelet levels continued to drop. Platelets are normally in the 100,000s if I remember right.
The day after Julianna was born, mine bottomed out at 29,000. They start a patient on blood transfusions at 20,000! At 29,000 my nose began to bleed, and bled profusely for around 30 minutes or longer. It was SO scary.
They had started me on corticosteroids, and finally my kidneys and liver started working again. That evening the catheter was removed, and I was taken off the mag, and I got to go down to the NICU to visit my baby girl for the first time.
I was discharged from the hospital 3 days after giving birth. My tiny girl stayed in the NICU for 10 days. I pumped breastmilk for her until she could breastfeed fully. We finally achieved exclusive breastfeeding about 2 months after she was born! Such a big accomplishment. Breastfeeding my baby helped me heal, and not feel like my body had completely failed me.
She nursed for 3 years, our breastfeeding relationship helped me bond with my baby that I hadn't had the opportunity to bond with after birth. I am so thankful for La Leche League and its wonderful leaders, and one very awesome IBCLC that encouraged me to not give up and just wait for her to grow big enough to breastfeed.
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